Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
