You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
