those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
