i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
