You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you made out with another girl for some wings
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
