why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
