fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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