Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was confusing and full of hummus
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
