yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
