did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So here I am, sexting at work.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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