i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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