I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
