Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
