Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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