I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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