I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think my mom watched the whole time
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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