Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
