9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
