There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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