all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I could fuck to npr.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
