you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize