You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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