I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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