you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
