I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
why is half of my head shaved?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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