why didn't you poke me back
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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