If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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