how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
