im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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