are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
