Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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