SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
