I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
