yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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