Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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