That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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