If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
