So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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