I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
