My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
