id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
