break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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