Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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