everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
