K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
