We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
