you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
