The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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