you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
