got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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