You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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