Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
