he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
