Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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