I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
