On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
