So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
