just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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