Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
