..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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