he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
