Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize