he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
