How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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