ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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