so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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